HEY!  IS THAT HAGRID KISSING A TURNIP?

There’s an old wooden dollhouse that stands beside Hagrid’s Hut like a grand old castle. Majestic, lofty and solemn and if you look through the window you won’t be surprised to see the Bowtruckles hard at play. 

They have Bowtruckle clothes made from leaves and earth and other things you find on the ground. They dress very smartly and if you look closer, you’ll see they play a Bowtruckle game of Hogwarts. 

But this is not the story to tell for today, for the story I wish to tell comes from the Bowtruckles themselves after a warm spritely autumn day.

A Bowtruckle walked the wooden dollhouse halls, dressed in some Dumbledore robes. When it suddenly went dark, and he stopped by the window to see what the commotion was about. 

Out of the window was a jolly half giant who stood scruffy and unusually shy. Beside him was a lady as tall as could be with purple blushed cheeks, a long scruffy dress and a hat that hid golden straw like hair. Her eyes were screwed shut and she wore a gentle grin that seemed to be inviting the great hairy man in. The giant leaned in with tightly shut eyes and lips puckered up with intentions of a big hairy kiss. 

Then there came a shriek from the skies and a wind that blew the Bowtruckle down. There was a crash, a clatter, a swoop and a crunch before the wind died down.

The Bowtruckle stood and adjusted his acorn glasses. The giant still stood unphased by the wood and shaggy dress that lay on the ground. A hat and some straw and the lady was gone. But when the Bowtruckle squinted, he could not believe what he saw. Hagrid still held a face to his lips, a face that had purple blushed cheeks but not golden straw for hair. Instead, a small tuft of wiry hair on the top of the head. The skin was rough, and the head was round and that’s when the Bowtruckle noticed. He let out a laugh and a Bowtruckle cackle as he watched the scene unfold. When another Bowtruckle dressed in lady-like robes came to the window too. She looked out and saw and with a look of disgust and squeaked in a Bowtruckle voice “Hey!” Is Hagrid kissing a Turnip”